Before Shanann Watts left on a weekend work trip to Arizona, she took time out of packing and preparing to write a heartfelt letter to her husband, Chris Watts. She carefully crafted sentences expressing her love and sharing all the little things she appreciated about Chris, while noting growing concerns about her husband’s distant demeanor and reluctance to stand up for his daughters after a recent family problem.

When Shanann Watts shared a photo of the letter she wrote through text with her friend Sara, she didn’t know this would be the last letter she would ever pen. She didn’t know that during the time she was putting ink to paper, trying so hard to find words that would resonate with her husband and motivate him to make their marriage a priority, that he was transferring risqué images of his mistress to a hidden app on his phone. Chris Watts was living a double life, trying to meticulously hide an affair from his 16 week pregnant wife. But what Shanann did know was that something wasn’t right- something had changed, and she planned to do everything she could to try to fix the relationship with the father of her children and the man she vowed to love and cherish until death do them part.

Recently a 2000 page Discovery document from the Watts case was released publicly, detailing the investigation from day one. The report shows just how through the inquiry was, filled with police notes, interview transcripts, and Shannon and Chris Watts’ phone and text records and conversations. Over the next few days, Crime Lights will be diving into the report and discussing interesting aspects of it to give a clearer picture of exactly what investigators uncovered.

Near the end of the Watts Discovery Document, an officer created a detailed report and timeline of what was occurring in Shanann and Chris Watts lives based on data extracted from the cell phones (calls, text messages and photos) from Shanann Watts, Chris Watts, and Nichol Kessinger [Chris Watts’ mistress] iPhones. One of the most heartbreaking things to see was the physical letter Shanann wrote to Chris. As detailed in the report:

13:37 hours: Shanann sent a photograph to Sara Nudd. The image is of this letter she wrote Watts. Shanann expressed hope Watts would respond with a letter of his own. Shanann told Sara that Watts has agreed “to go away next weekend, just us.” Shanann said a friend has agreed to watch the kids.

Below the notes is the image of Shanann Watts’ letter to Chris. It’s quite difficult to read. After placing it in an editing program and making some adjustments we have transcribed the majority of it below in text form. Please note there are some portions of the letter that were still quite blurry, and we only wanted to transcribe words we were 100% certain were correct. Anything left out has been noted below in brackets.

Shanann Watts Letter to Chris Transcribed

My Dearest Chris ♥︎

I don’t know where to begin. I am so lost for words. I can’t even explain how hard the pain is. The last five weeks have been the hardest. I missed everything about you. I missed your morning breath. Your touch. Your lips [unknown- possibly kiss/kisses?]. I missed holding you. I missed smelling you in the sheets. I missed talking to you in person. I missed watching you laugh and play with the kids that I love so much about you. I missed seeing you naked and on top of me making love to me. [unknown] I missed having you around when I felt alone and upset. I just flat out missed the hell out of you. We haven’t been away from each other that long since [unknown]

I really don’t know how we fell out of compatibility of if that is someone else’s words the only thing that changed this month was everything going down with your family. I can’t change what happened, but I can try to work things out with you with them. But there has to be a mutual respect for everyone. I definitely deserve an apology because of Celeste. I can suck up [unknown] going against everything I said to our kids. But our daughter’s life (looks like it may have continued on the back of the paper, but that was not shown in the Discovery documents). 

Further text messages show that Shanann left the letter for Chris on the countertop before she left for the airport to take her flight from Denver International to Phoenix SkyHarbor Airport for her Thrive Business weekend. A text to Chris at 6:20am included “….thank you for letting me hold you this morning, it felt so good! ♥︎ Your letter is on the counter. Have a great time with the kiddos…love you baby!”. Chris deleted the message from his phone.

The letter and text message exchange, while deeply personal, shed such light into who Shanann was as a person. Despite being a full time mother to two toddler-age girls, going through extreme bouts of sickness with her pregnancy, navigating major stressors with in-law conflict and a husband who treated her like he lost interest in her overnight, Shanann was a fighter. She was DETERMINED to save her marriage, and went above and beyond on her part to try to effectively communicate and compromise with Chris. She must have felt so bewildered and utterly blindsided.

Here was a couple who had been together for eight years, and by all accounts were constantly affectionate, and Chris suddenly withdrew from her stating things like he didn’t feel they were “compatible” anymore– mind you, he hit Shanann with this AFTER she was pregnant with the baby boy they had planned. While it seems she may have had suspicions in the back of her mind, she did not know Chris was having an affair, and certainly not the extent of it….and of course Chris denied that there was anyone else in the picture. Shanann, Bella, Celeste and baby Niko senselessly lost their lives at the hands of a man who didn’t have the backbone to do the right (and easy!) thing: be honest with his wife, and file for divorce if he no longer wanted to be in this relationship. Based on everything in the Discovery, Shanann was pretty much as devoted as a partner could be.